Shocking Excuses For Abandoning A Pet

1. He can't perform tricks!

2. He's not cute as he used to be!

3. He's become too big for the house!

4. He barks too much!!! ...you don't say...it's a DOG!

5. He scares the golden fish!

7. The color of the dog doesn't match the color of the couch!

6. He snores too loud!

8. Smells like a dog!! ...hm, hard to imagine...

9. And the brilliant one - He farts often! ...If I could only ask those owners what are they feeding their dog with...

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15 Funniest Exam Answers: Stuff You Wish You Could Have Written

All of us have been through this. Exam. It’s a nightmare. Who loves exams? I hate them. Now when it’s over for me, it seems to be so funny, but when I studied at the university it wasn’t really funny. I am sure that all of us wish to write something like this, and there are people who can do that. Just look at these answers, they are amazing!

1. Where is the x?

2. An elephant in the way

Does the object continue to move after it comes to rest?

“No. There is an elephant in the way.”

3. Expanding

4. Solving the equation

5. Difficult task

6. Graph explanation

Explain the shape of the graph.

“Its curvy, with a higher bit at the end and a rather aesthetically pleasing slope downwards towards a pretty flat strait bit. The actual graph itself consists of 2 straight lines meeting at the lower left hand corner of the graph and moving away at a 90 anger each line has an arrow head on the end.”

7. Infinity

8. She’s a woman

Tracey is wrong, show that she is wrong.

“She’s a woman.”

9. Find the identity of Batman

If the proton starts off with velocity 300 km/s a distance 1 km from the line charge, what is the distance of the closest approach?

“Use the calculus to find the identity of Batman.”

10. The panda will cry…

“The panda will cry if I get a bad grade. (Just keep that in mind.)”

11. Why was he fired?

An engineer designer an ocean liner that would extract heat from ocean’s water …
He thought he had a good idea, but his boss fired him. Explain.

“Because he slept with his boss’ wife.”

12. Hard water

Briefly explain what hard water is.

“Ice.”

13. Dividing the easy way

14. Mutants

How would you verify that the mutants indentified by phenotype in your screen are true loss of function jaw-D mutations? [2 marks]

Student’s answer:

“Use the radioactive ooze – teenage mutant ninja turtles (picture of a TMNT)”

Teacher’s response:
“I wish I could give you marks for this! LOVE IT!”

15. 50% probability

- In which of these two steps does reduction of titanium occur?
– 2.
- Explain your answer.
- The calculable probability of getting this answer correct was 50%. Good enough.

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Top 5 Most Evil Nazis

5. Adolf Eichmann

Eichmann was the organizational talent that orchestrated the mass deportation of Jews from their countries into waiting ghettos and extermination camps. A prodigy of Heydrich, he is sometimes referred to as “the architect of the Holocaust”. He learned Hebrew and studied all things Jewish in order to manipulate Jews, through his power of coercion, to leave their occupied territories and possessions in favor of a better life in the ghettos. At the end of the war he was doing the same to Hungarian Jews and, if it wasn’t for the intervention of Raoul Wallenberg, the number of victims of the holocaust would have been much higher. He fled Germany at the end of the war via a ratline to south America, and was captured by the Mossad in Argentina. He was extradited to Israel and executed by hanging in 1962, after a highly publicized trial. Eichmanns death was, and is, the only civil execution ever carried out in Israel.

4. Joseph Mengele

Mengele initially gained notoriety for being one of the SS physicians who supervised the selection of arriving transports of prisoners, determining who was to be killed and who was to become a forced laborer, but is far more infamous for performing grisly human experiments on camp inmates, for which Mengele was called the “Angel of Death”. His crimes were evil and of many. When it was reported that one hospital block was infested with lice, Mengele gassed every single one of the 750 women assigned to it. Mengele used Auschwitz as an opportunity to continue his research on heredity, using inmates for human experimentation. He was particularly interested in identical twins. Mengele’s experiments included attempts to take one twin’s eyeballs and attach them to the back of the other twin’s head, changing eye color by injecting chemicals into children’s eyes, various amputations of limbs, and other brutal surgeries. He survived the war, and after a period living incognito in Germany, he fled to South America, where he evaded capture for the rest of his life, despite being hunted as a Nazi war criminal.

3. Reinhard Heydrich

Heydrich was appointed Protector of Bohemia and Moravia. In August 1940, he was appointed and served as President of Interpol. Heydrich chaired the 1942 Wannsee Conference, which discussed plans for the deportation and extermination of all Jews in German occupied territory, thus being the mastermind of the holocaust. He was attacked by British trained Czech agents on 27 May, 1942, sent to assassinate him in Prague. He died slightly over a week later from complications arising from his injuries. The foundations of genocide were laid by Heydrich and carried out in Operation Reinhard in his name.

2. Adolf Hitler

Hitler would be some people’s choice to be number one but not mine. Adolf Hitler went from being a lance corporal in the German army, to chancellor of Germany in 15 years. The holocaust may have been his subordinates doing, but he knew about it, which, amazingly, has only been fairly recently proven. Adolf Hitler had a major role in initiating the bloodiest conflict ever, which still has a massive bearing on the world to this day. His megalomania saw large parts of Europe devastated in his lifetime and forced into communism after the war.

1. Heinrich Himmler

Heinrich Himmler, the architect of the holocaust and considered to be the biggest mass murderer ever, by some (although it’s really Josef Stalin). The holocaust would not have happened if not for this man. He tried to breed a master race of Nordic appearance, the Aryan race. His plans for racial purity were ended by Hitler’s vanity in making rash military decisions rather than letting his generals make them, thus ending the war prematurely. Himmler was captured after the war. He unsuccessfully tried to negotiate with the west, and was genuinely shocked to be treated as a criminal upon capture. He committed suicide by swallowing a cyanide capsule he had bit upon.

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Top 5 Formidable Predatory Insects

5. Assassin bug

Assassin bugs are among Nature’s most ingenious killers. There are plenty of species, and most of them are harmless to man (although some have excruciatingly painful bites). Often, a species of assassin bug will specialize in a certain kind of prey; for example, some of them feed only on spiders, others prefer ants, etc. They are armed with needle-like mouthparts, which they use to inject lethal saliva into their prey; this saliva liquifies the victim’s innards. (Like many other insects, assassin bugs are unable to feed on solid matter). However, most assassin bugs aren’t fast flyers or runners, so they use trickery to hunt. Some of them cover their bodies with bark, dust, or even dead insects to disguise their appearance and scent, and sneak up on unsuspecting prey.

Spider-hunting assassin bugs often mimic the vibrations produced by insects entangled in a spider web; the spider attacks, thinking that it has caught a tasty meal, only to be killed and devoured itself. Perhaps the most amazing assassin bug is a certain species that feeds on ants. It produces a sugary substance through its abdomen, which serves as bait for the sweet-loving ants. But the sugary substance is also loaded with a powerful tranquilizer; soon, the ant collapses, paralyzed, and the assassin bug can suck its innards without any resistance.

4. Dragonfly

The Dragonfly is the ultimate aerial killer of the insect world; its design is so perfect, that it has remained almost unchanged for the last 300 million years. It is among the fastest flying insects, reaching almost 90 kms (56 miles) per hour (which is even more amazing if we consider its small size and apparent fragility). It can dive-bomb, hover like a helicopter, and even fly backwards, and its enormous eyes, which cover almost all of its head, give it near-360 degree vision, so that no insect escapes its attention.

Dragonflies feed on any flying insects they can catch, and also on spiders, which they capture from their webs. Although they usually hunt and devour prey at high speed in the air, they can also snatch spiders and insects from exposed surfaces. Dragonfly larvae are also formidable predators; they are aquatic, and use their protractile, sharp mouthparts to stab other small animals to death, including small fish, frogs and other dragonfly larvae.

3. Siafu ant

Also known as the driver, safari or army ant, this African species if the only insect known to attack and devour humans, although this happens only very rarely. Siafu ants have very large, sharp jaws and venomous stings, which they use to subdue small animals such as lizards, worms and other insects. However, there have been reports of cows, goats and other domestic animals that were tied to trees or poles by their owners, and, unable to get out of the way, were killed by the Siafu ants. Wild animals avoid ant armies on the move, and some naturalists have claimed that even lions and elephants flee away from them.

There have been reports of attacks on people who couldn’t run away on time, such as unattended babies, sleeping or injured people and at least one drunken man. Also, one tourist that was reported as missing in Tanzania was later found to have been killed by Siafu ants. It is said that these larger victims may not die of envenomation after being stung, but rather of asphyxia, since the attacking ants will go into any body orifice and crawl into the lungs.

2. Praying mantis

Possibly the best known predatory insect. There are many species of praying mantis, or mantids, around the world, but they are all perfect ambush hunters, armed with long, modified forelegs armed with sharp hooks to capture prey. These forelegs are usually called the “raptorial legs”.

These insects usually stand still, camouflaged, until a smaller insect or animal gets close; then they capture with a lightning fast movement, and start feeding whether the victim is alive or dead.

They are extremely voracious and any kind of prey is good to them; they have been known to capture and devour spiders (including the deadly black widow spider), lizards, small snakes and even birds. They are also infamously prone to cannibalism; females often bite off the head of the male during sex, and feed on the rest of him afterwards. Baby mantids are also known to feed on their siblings when food is scarce. Mantids are skilled flyers but they usually only fly at night, to avoid birds and other larger predators.

1. Japanese hornet

Known as “tiger hornets” in some parts of Asia, these large wasps are relentless hunters that kill any insect they can capture, including other predators such as the praying mantis. They are armed with an incredibly potent venom, and inject great amounts of it; like other hornets, they can sting repeatedly. This venom is strong enough to cause serious illness, and even death, to humans; indeed, they are the most dangerous wild animal in Japan, killing around 40 people per year (more than venomous snakes and bears combined). But the Japanese hornet uses its sting as a defensive weapon only; to kill prey, it uses its sharp jaws to decapitate the victim, and cut its body in small pieces. It then carries the carcass back to the nest, where it chews the dead insect into a soft paste to feed the larvae. The larvae then produce a sugary fluid which is the adult hornet’s main food.

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Most Bizarre Shoes in History

5. Heelless shoes

2007

I decided to put a couple of modern shoe designs here too, as they are just too bizarre to miss. Heelless shoes made their debut on Antonio Berardi’s runway in 2007, and were made famous by Victoria Beckham in 2008. And despite their unnatural and extremely uncomfortable look, according to their English Italian designer, they do not cause the wearer any pain. He has said “They are perfectly balanced. When the girls come for fittings, they look a bit daunted, but by the end they say it’s just like wearing a regular shoe.” But medical experts have their concerns, saying that the shoes could lead to permanent damage to the feet, knees and spine if worn regularly.

4. Padukas (Toe-knob sandals)

India, 1700′s

Ceremonial padukas, or toe-knob sandals, is the name of India’s oldest, and ultimate footwear. They were little more than a sole with a post and knob, which was situated between the big toe and second toe. They were commonly made from silver, wood, iron or even ivory. There is even a Spiked Paduka used for masochism. Masochism is for obtaining gratification or sexual arousal by having pain inflicted upon oneself. Some masochists enjoy a form of aichmophilia (the love of needles and spikes). Once pain has been registered for 20-40 minutes, the body will begin to produce opiate-like chemicals to reduce pain sensation. The release of these chemicals causes anesthetic, euphoric and trancelike qualities that allegedly enhance sexual sensitivity or experience. Spiked padukas sandals are worn by Indian Hindu Sadhus, or Holy Men, for this very purpose.

3. Wooden Bridal Shoes

France, late 19th century

Out of the Bethmale Valley, south of the city Saint Girons in the Ariege district, comes this high pointed bridal wooden shoe. They go back as far as the 9th century, when local villagers conquered a camp of Moorish invaders, who kidnapped the village women, and pricked the hearts of their enemy on the pointed tips of their clogs, in celebration of their victory. The clogs were made in one piece of the trunks of walnut trees which formed a rectangle with its roots. Later the branches of a tree were pulled and warped in a special way to pre-shape the tree for making this type of clogs. Village men created the clogs for their future brides. It is said that the higher the point, the greater his love for her.

2. The Ballet Boot

1980′s-present day

The ballet boot is a contemporary style of footwear. They started as a fetish shoe, but have grown in popularity as a general fashion statement, particularly in Japan. This shoe merges the look of the traditional ballet slipper with the ultimate high heel. The illusion is to force the wearers feet almost en pointe, like those of a ballerina using an ultra long heel. The Ballet Boot originally gained popularity in the 1980′s, and is now available worldwide through specialty stores and online. You may have guessed, but these shoes are not intended to be worn for any extended period of time. The shoes (based on the images one finds on google images) seem to be rather popular with fetishists.

1. Lotus Shoes

China, from the 10th century to 2009

The Han Chinese tradition of binding women’s feet to make them appear as small as a lotus bud lasted well over a thousand years. Shoes from the north, especially Beijing, had a ‘bow’ shape, an exaggerated curved sole and heel in one piece, often with leather reinforcements at toe and heel. Style conscious women from Shanghai in the late 19th century and early 20th century, (then the fashion capital of China), liked a multiple heel, while those from the southern provinces such as Guangdong wore shoes often made of black cotton or silk, with a fairly flat heel. Iron or wooden studs were added in some cases to the soles to raise and protect the embroidered silk shoe from the dirt of the streets.

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Top 5 Bizarre Weapons of the Allies

5. Rotabuggy

A combination of a Willy MB Jeep, a rotaplane, and some creative design, the Rotabuggy was assembled by helicopter pioneer Raul Hafner. Better known as the Blitz Buggy by Hafner, it was an experimental aircraft that evolved from the other “Rota concepts” (the Rota Tank and the Rotachute). Despite looking absolutely ridiculous and almost cartoon-like, the Rotabuggy successfully went airborne, reaching gliding speeds of 45 mph in its first trial, in 1943. It flew at 65 mph for 10 minutes in 1944. It was also surprisingly sturdy, withstanding falls from 7 ft. without experiencing damage. Despite being an engineering success and deemed to be “highly satisfactory,” the Rotabuggy was overlooked and phased out by the introduction of the more sensible Waco Hadrian glider. A replica can be found in the Museum of Army Flying, in Stockbridge.

4. Earthquake Bomb

Another one of Barnes Wallis’ creations, one of these colossal 20ft monsters contains thousands of pounds of explosives. It would be dropped from modified bombers, as no other existing bombers could carry its weight. The bombs are built with a tough armoured tip and would reach supersonic speeds when dropped from 40 thousand feet high, penetrating deep underground and detonating. The shock would often create a deep crater and produce a miniature earthquake capable of destroying the infrastructure of buildings and dams. Earthquake bombs were used to destroy the V2 factories, sink the German battleship Tirpitz and destroy docked U2 boats.

3. Major Martin

Major Martin was a homeless man, who died of pneumonia and was then used as a weapon of deceit by the British in Operation Mincemeat. The body was disguised as a dead Royal Marines Officer and left to be found in the sea off the Spanish coast, with a briefcase full of top secret files chained to his wrist. When the body was brought to Madrid, those documents indicated that the Allies were preparing an invasion in Sardinia. However, this was all a trick to persuade the Germans into thinking that the Allies were going to invade Sardinia, instead of Sicily. The trick miraculously worked, and the Germans pulled thousands of troops from Sicily to defend Sardinia. Thousands of Allied troops owed their lives to the deception of Major Martin.

2. Electromagnetic Degaussing

Although it sounds like it comes straight out of a sci-fi flick, the Allies researched the degaussing of ships quite heavily during WW2. The primary goal was to render the ship undetectable, and invisible, from magnetically fused undersea mines and torpedoes. The degaussing of a ship involved the generation of a powerful electromagnetic field onboard. The Canadian and British Royal navies spent large amounts of time doing tests and research on degaussing — in fact, the conduits from the degaussing system built in the HMS Belfast in London, can still be seen today. Many people also believe the electromagnetic degaussing attempt on the USS Engstorm might have influenced the story of the famous “Philidelphia Experiment.”

1. Sawdust and Ice Carrier

The idea of an “ice ship” impressed the U.S. Army enough that the Army actually tried to build one in Patricia Lake — unsurprisingly, it melted during one hot month in the summer. However, during the process, engineers discovered the composite material pykrete, which is made from 18 percent wood dust and 82 percent water. It was far more durable and tougher than ice; better yet, it didn’t melt as quickly. The introduction of the material revived the “ice ship” idea, most notably by Geoffrey Pyke, who planned to construct an aircraft carrier out of pykrete to combat German U-Boats in the Mid-Atlantic. Somehow, Pyke convinced the Canadians to try to construct a pykrete vessel in 1944. The amount of materials necessary for the construction were 300,000 tons of wood pulp, 25,000 tons of insulation, 35,000 tons of timber and 10,000 tons of steel. This amounted to a cost of £700,000 at the time. But, due to difficulties concerning deformation and stress, the cost more than doubled to £2.5 million. This resulted in the project being terminated.

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Top 5 Strange and Cool Vehicles

5. Avrocar

In case you were wondering if flying saucers exist, the answer is: yes, they do! This is not built by aliens though, but by Avro Company. The vehicle was 18 feet long in diameter and could carry up to two people. The company first offered it to Canadian government, but after the rejection they received great deal of interest by United States military. However, it proved to be unstable and the project didn’t succeed.

4. Monsterbike

This is another freaky bike. It is three-wheeled vehicle with a monster tyre up front and it is human powered. Strong legs are required for this machine to be moved, making it very unpractical for use. Actually, walking is way faster than this, even if the driver is very strong. However, it could be very funny to try driving this, never mind what your strength is. It was created in Netherlands.

3. Tank Chair

Unlike the previous two examples, the tank chair is much useful. It is not created because some weird guy had too much free time, but because some people in wheel chairs are limited to go only on some kinds of surfaces. The tank chair can go through sand, mud, snow, gravel and whatever else show up on its way.

2. Rocket Bike

Although it’s just a bike, this is one of the most dangerous vehicles that ever existed. Tom Pickens from Orion Propulsions created this weird machine, which is composed of usual bike and rockets on the back side. The rockets are responsible for the incredible bike speeding of 60 meters for 5 seconds. Pickens spent 1250 hours and $750 to create it, but he never offered it for sale. Maybe he doesn’t want to be sued.

1. Surface Orbiter

Rick Dobbertin from New York wanted to travel all around the world by only one vehicle. It was impossible with today’s technology because there’s no vehicle that could be driven via land and sea, so he had wait for the car industry to improve a lot. He wasn’t very patient, so invented one on his own. He created the Surface Orbiter from a milk truck, which took him 4 years, $175,000 and 14,000 hours of work. Allegedly, Dobbertin is now working on a new project, called hydrocar.

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